This is a breakdown of my creative writing process in writing my short story ‘The Trade Plater’. You can read the story without the analysis here:-
The Trade Plater:
[#1: I always like to write subversively. In this piece, when I originally wrote it back in the noughties it had a male driver and the emotional core of that version was different. It was mostly about the unreliable narrator and his difficulty and discerning whether the experience was supernatural or just odd. When I realised the potential of making the driver female here, it made it a much stronger piece. It really opened up the scope for a true Faustian bargain by making her a temptress, and one who at times seems to know a little too much and who has little idiosyncrasies that make her seem out of time and/or out of place. My goal with this piece was to leave the reader unsure as to whether it was a supernatural encounter or not. If anything I was looking to lean into the ‘probably supernatural’ conclusion but with obfuscation and hints at an unreliable narrator that it could plausibly have been the drink and drugs at work. What actually came out of this, was another interesting subversion. The lonely vulnerable hitchhiker is a well-worn, established trope. If we inverted the gender of Malcolm and Lucy and had a young girl being picked up by a wealthy, older man in a super car acting inappropriately, then the story would fall into the common trope. This way around it asks male readers to consider how they’d feel in this situation, and in turn how their behaviour might be perceived if they happen to pick up a female hitchhiker. One commenter told me it was as if Malcolm had a whole mid-life crisis in the car, and I think he does, but he does because Lucy makes him have one. Crucially, every escalation is a choice by Malcolm. Lucy is quite assertive and coercive, but every decision Malcolm makes is still a choice. As I wrote this I tried plant as many seeds, or clues as to who and what Lucy is, I wanted to leave the story with the answer at least partially unresolved, so as to hopefully leave the story lingering in the reader’s mind longer and perhaps leaving them a little unsettled in a way which they wouldn’t have been without the ambiguity.]
[#2: As always we’ll try to start as much as possible in media res, but in this case, because of the emotional core of the story and the juxtaposition we’re looking to create, we’ll open with some strong characterisation, so the reader has a strong feel for who Malcolm is right from the start.]
Malcolm Withers was responsible, sensible, and lots of other words that end in ‘ible’. He was a church-going man, though in truth something of a skeptic. He braved the hard, narrow pews because his wife’s social circle was very much embedded in the church, but the band was excellent, the congregation were all good-natured, and the services were always a bit of a knees-up.
[#1: The sentence {Malcolm Withers was responsible, sensible, and lots of other words that end in ‘ible’} is doing a lot of characterisation. The name ‘Malcolm Withers’ is specific and chosen for the connotations. It’s of Scottish origin and refers to ‘shaven-head’ or ‘Monk’ which fits the incorruptible character we’re trying to sell our protagonist as. In British culture we expect a Malcolm to be a solicitor or accountant. The sort of person interested in watches, aftershave, golf and trading stocks and shares. It has connotations suggesting he’s neither exciting nor a person who seeks excitement. That’s important for the shape and the emotional core of this piece.]
[#2: The rest of the first paragraph is very much about grounding Malcolm as practical, pragmatic and someone who isn’t pious or deeply religious but someone who tolerates his wife’s religiosity for the tangible benefits associated. Again, this is important for the emotional core of the story and making him a deeply spiritual, true believer would undermine the main theme of the tale.]
Car dealers usually preferred to ship their stock up and down the country on large multi-car transports. When a client needed a vehicle in a hurry or when one vehicle needed shipping to one destination, they sometimes called on Malcolm. Today it was a Jaguar. Not a vintage, they would always be shipped on transports. This was a 2008 XJR, in gunmetal grey with a cracked, but serviceable, cream leather interior. It was an enthusiast’s car. Traffic had been hell on the way down. He’d finally pulled into the dealer’s car park at 4:55pm. They’d thanked him and taken the keys, then apologised profusely before abruptly vanishing into the night. He’d asked them for a lift to the train station, but it seemed the two remaining members of staff locking up were in a hurry and didn’t have time. He’d thought about an Uber, but the dealership wasn’t far from the motorway and in the past, a friendly truck driver would always be happy to at least take him up a few junctions. Now he was trudging up the dual-carriageway that led to the motorway junction. The traffic was heavy, trucks rumbling, horns blaring, the diesel and petrol fumes overpowering. He was wearing his suit and wax jacket and carrying the infamous red and white plates of the motor trade. He turned to face the traffic and held up the plates hopefully, trying to make eye contact with a driver, any driver. Yet somehow it appeared he was invisible. Every motorist from the young teenaged girl in her little hatchback to the burly, bearded trucker in his Class 2; they all seemed so focused on the road he might as well have not been there.
[#3: This paragraph continues the characterisation and gives the reader who might not be familiar with the ‘Trade Plater’ nomenclature, a basic outline of what it means. Him arriving at 4:55pm, not being able to get a lift and choosing to eschew the train station are intentional and important.]
[#4: The busy road going quiet is the first sign that something might be amiss, something supernatural might be happening. On a second read though, a reader might pick up on the feeling of being invisible before the road goes quiet. It’s unlikely to be caught first time because anyone who has ever hitchhiked in the UK will have experienced this feeling firsthand. People see them out of the corner of their eye and intentionally avoid looking at them to absolve themselves of any guilt for not offering a lift. If you’re a driver in the UK, you’ve probably experienced this from the other side of the interaction and for whatever reason avoided making eye-contact with a hitch-hiker. So the feeling seems rational on a first read, but a closer look might make you re-think.]
